Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Hello All,
I dreamt unpleasantly last night. However, I take any dream as information, and also as my own little movie, so I can't disapprove too much of any dream. I decided to take a picture of Angie and I this morning. Each day, she wakes up around 3am and proceeds to play with her loudest toys (I live in a studio apartment, so it's basically one room), and to tread in every place she knows she's not supposed to go (kitchen sink, my desk). The past few days she's been better behaved, so I thought she deserved a close-up.
My dream began with me driving to bring an item to a doctor at their home, so it was a personal visit, and not an appointment. When I got there, the doctor wanted to take some sort of test sample from me anyway. The doctor anesthetized me without my knowledge or permission, and locked me in the bathroom. When I came too again, I felt very sick and the doctor had done something to my legs that made it hard to walk, and had operated on one of my teeth, so the tooth was almost all gone, and replaced by a clamp with a dull lead-like finish.
The doctor came to the bathroom to see if I had woken up yet. I was very angry and admonished him for not even giving me anything to read. He gave me a newspaper, but I left anyway. I lived with a number of people of different ages, including a girl about 8 or 9 years old. The girl had trouble understanding the seriousness of the rule that my cat is never allowed outside. Some big mess occurred, and everyone gathered to clean it up, but my cat (in the dream it wasn't Angie, but a long-furred, orange, tabby kitten) kept on trying to get in the mess. The girl suggested putting the cat outside, and I became very angry with her.
The next day, I drove out into the country to visit a friend. I'm always nervous about driving into the country, it doesn't feel safe. In Raleigh, once you leave the city it becomes even more conservative. The rural culture in North Carolina is dramatically different from the urban culture (and the urban culture isn't particularly progressive either). In some directions, it only takes a few miles of driving to find your self surrounded by the religion-fueled fear and hatred of the untamed tobacco lands. I arrived at my friend's house, carefully noting landmarks and streets, so I could get back home.
I stayed later than I wanted. I don't like driving at night, but I hate staying over the night even more. I made it home easily, relieved to be back in familiar territory. Unfortunately (and I can't remember the reason), I had to go back out into the country the next day, but this time I just couldn't find the way back home. I eventually had to stop and ask one of the natives directions, but he gave me some smart-assed reply and walked off patting himself on the back for being rude to the weird city-fag.
However, some local homosexuals overheard the incident, and told me where I was and how to get back home. They (perhaps a group of 5 or so) said I could stay at their place and make the drive tomorrow. Unfortunately, I really was far away, and felt it wiser to accept their offer. When I go to their house, it was very dirty and in much disrepair. I'm not the cleanest person on Earth, but their house was way past my threshold of decency. I figured it was just one night, and any motel would be just as unhygienic.
An older man in the house, yelling at a young couple, woke me up in the middle of the night. The two young men were standing out in the hall, as the older man raged on about how irresponsible and indecent they were. The problem seemed to center around their room, so I walked by the hall and looked in, and saw one cat on the bed that seemed to be dead and another laid on the floor as if mortally wounded, while a third cat poked at it. I was very upset and just went back to my room and decided to stay awake until the sun rose, when I could leave.
The morning came, and all the cats seemed fine, but the one man was still very angry with the couple. I was thoroughly upset by the experience, and just wanted to get out of the hinterlands. As I got in my car to leave, I noticed an ugly sweaty guy on a lawn mower staring in the window of a neighbor's house. He lustily stared at a very worn looking housewife as she exercised in front of the TV on her exercise ball. She had raccoon-like eyeliner on, and a big frizzy hairdo. She looked as if she was being held up by her rolls of fat. She was staring through the window back at this guy on the lawn mower. Bits of dirt and grass were glued to the sweat on his bald head. She clearly enjoyed his voyeurism. It made my already disturbing experience seem much worse.
The dream was actually more upsetting than amusing, but it seemed to be covered with an inappropriately comedic lacquer. I think that's what made the dream so unpleasant.
Thank you for reading,

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