Well, it's another day, hence the morning view out my window. I've started re-reading my diaries. I've kept diaries in a here-and-there way since I was 11, and thought it might help me analyze myself to re-read them all. When I finished reading one last night (a diary from about 8 years ago, consisting mostly of dreams), the last page had the date at the time and a little sketch of myself, and then it said, "How old are you now, old man?" I put yesterday's date in it, and did a current sketch of myself.
Last night I had a dream my whole extended family (Italian-side) had gathered at my grandmother's house in Middletown, NY. I remember going on about the day as usual, centered around the kitchen. Later in the day, my Aunt Janet told me everyone was going to see the play "Love! Valour! Compassion!" because it was being shown just down the street. I felt glad my family was open-minded enough to see a homo-centric play, but at the same time disappointed they didn't chose something more progressive. "Love, Valour! Compassion!" is not without its merits, but it reflects a different generation and experience of sexual minorities, from what I've experienced first hand in my own life. It seems a bit dated today, and almost like a period piece (like, The Boys in the Band).
Unfortunately, I hadn't foreseen going anywhere, and had decided to drink some, or perhaps a bit too much, anisette. I realized I needed to get dressed in something more appropriate, and take a nap. The next moment in the dream I was in a deep sleep in my grandmother's bed. I remember waking up in a start because I hadn't expected to sleep so hard. When I woke up, I realized I had plenty of time, but I also realized in my drunkenness I had thrown a bunch of clothes around the room while looking for something to wear, and thus needed to tidy my grandmother's room before we left. I also noticed I had packed odd things with me, like a laminated picture I drew in the 8th grade, along with some other finished pictures, and a music book stand. I could tell I was still a bit drunk and very tired, so I went back to sleep.
At this point in the dream, I was very frustrated at how hard I was sleeping. I really felt I needed to get ready for the play. I woke up and went out into the kitchen where my parents and uncles were telling me to go outside because the animal trainers for the play were outside exercising their animals. No, I have no idea why trained animals were needed for "Love! Valour! Compassion!" as there are no animals other than humans in the play. I saw a man in a top hat letting a chipmunk eat a nut by the roots of a tree. The chipmunk dutifully returned to its trainer, who gave a quick whistle. In the vacant lot next door, I saw dancing horses. The horses wore tiaras and played in a make-shift mist shower. An elephant trainer approached me and told me to let his elephant pick me up with its trunk. The elephant picked me up and started rushing all over the lawn. I suppose it was supposed to be fun, but it was a bit scary.
I returned to my grandmother's room to change clothes and try to tidy-up, but I grew very tired again. I went back to sleep, and remember being very frustrated at how deep my sleep was, and feared I wouldn't awake in time. I took the precaution to tell my Mother to make sure and wake me up. That's where that dream ended. The other dream I remember was quite simple, but wasn't particularly shorter than other dreams.
The dream began with me picking up one of my many diaries made of handmade paper, which is very good for water-coloring. The dream just consisted of me carefully moving the pigment across the page to make one consistent wall of color on the page. I remember carefully transferring areas of heavier pigment to areas of lighter pigment, while trying to hurry before everything dried too much. That's all I remember from last night.
My new medication makes me very tired and a little nauseous (side-effects I hope will go away soon). So it's either because of that, or because of my heightened emotional distress that I ended up sleeping ten hours last night. What a waste of time! I certainly hope I can make up for my shortened morning today. I have to exercise, work on my resume, do more diary reading, work on the picture I'm going to sell, and work on another dream sketch I'm doing. I need to cook and clean, I should go visit a friend. There's a lot I could do today, but somehow I feel I'm going to need to sleep again before it's evening.
Thank you for reading,