Friday, June 22, 2007

Just Toys, not Friends, are Only for Fun

I just got back from spending time with my friend Cindy, and had a really good time, here's Cindy wiped-out from the day, sitting with her daughter Iona. Cindy's a typical mother in the sense she sacrifices her right to emotion in order to be a leader to her family, and a guide to me.

Today she had had it. One company's accidental double charge caused her a 175$ overdraft fee she cannot afford, meanwhile the company at fault is wrangling with her to right their wrong. Meanwhile she has to struggle to feed her family, pay medical bills, and help me, an emotional supercell.

So, today her temper trembled under her voice as she tired to get her money, as she tired to explain to her father why she didn't have any money. All this while herding and attending to her four and five year old, with her adult daughter not far away on her mind. As we dragged ourselves around in the summer heat her mood sizzled, but as always she retained her personality and self, and that's who I'm friends with. As I left for home she apologized for her bad mood. There's simply no need to apologize. Life is hard, and it has been for both of us. Life's been a disappointment, and at times an insult in addition.

I rather have solid quality time with a friend in a bad mood, than be the type of person to just abandon someone because they're not happy, because they have problems, because they can't "rise to the occasion." This whole past year I've really had to struggle with some dark emotional problems, and I've seen friend after friend either just straight-out leave, or do their good deed only to abandon me forever-since. What kind of society are we where it's acceptable to only stick around for the good times? People should make friends for companionship, to share like-mindedness, to form a safety-net and a community. However, people I've respected, and known for years have simply crumbled and disappeared once things started to get rough with me this past year. For some of these people, it was just a few bad months out of years and years of friendship, that caused their allegiance to crumble away. I suppose I don't want friends like that, and I don't want my one remaining friend to think I would be like that. I will not abandon a friend because they're not all roses. Life is not happy, nor fair, so why expect people to be fun and happy all the time, or even most of the time?

There's no place for fair-weather friends and the picture of me in this post is of me having a great time during hard times with Cindy.
Thank you for reading,

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